If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
