When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
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You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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