He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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