What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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