Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
