sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
