Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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