kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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