Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
