Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
