Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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