if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
