Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
