I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have aggressive nipples.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
