covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
