woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's blow job season.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
