Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize