So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
