So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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