i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
