is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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