so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
