So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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