I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize