Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
