Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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