I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
