I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
