god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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