Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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