i jhust puked up my retainher.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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