Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
