my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
