so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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