i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize