and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
