Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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