is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
