"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize