420 ftw
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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