Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
