R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
