Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
