drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
are you so shy because you have an std?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
