if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
