You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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