Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
a search helicopter?!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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