bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
