I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize