we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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