Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
