told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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We have so much sex to catch up on
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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