dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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