just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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